We all experience anger at some point or the other, babies too experience anger. Did you know that right from the time the baby is in the womb, a baby develops feelings of anger, so when the baby is born, he or she is fully aware of anger, frustration etc.

What is anger?
Anger is an emotion or a feeling. It is a natural response to displeasure or frustration. Aggression on the other hand is a behavior manifestation of the emotion that causes another person mental injury, physical damage, abuse, damage to property etc. We cannot do away with this negative feeling but we have to learn the best ways of expressing our anger. A child releases his or her anger in various ways like shouting, shoving, kicking, abusing, not abiding by the rules of the school, defying others, back answering etc. We have to teach children the right ways to cope with anger and aggression so that they do not harm themselves or others. Anger can also lead to self-destruction.

1.  It is important for parents and teachers to talk about their feeling and help them to understand what they are feeling.

2.  It is important not to blame them or make them feel bad for having these negative feelings. It is natural to have these negative feelings.

3.  They should not feel that because they have these negative feelings you don’t love them. Love should not be based on whether they have positive feelings or negative.

4.  Stay with the child while he or she is working with anger. Do not Abandon him, therefore a time –out (punishment) at the time of an emotional out-burst is not the right way to teach a child. Rejection will cause the child to feel more hurt and angry which could lead to the child to feel anger inwards.

5.  Help the child to express anger in appropriate words e.g. Do not say I hate my friend but rather use a feeling expression like “ it makes me mad that my friend behaved like that etc. also helps him to identify his feeling and learn that it is the behavior that triggers something in him and not that he hates another human being.

6.  Prevent the anger from building up. Don’t wait for the outburst; Physical activity helps to release stress etc.

7.  If someone has abused in class etc, or punched another person, what you can do is talk to them nicely, asking them to verbally tell each other a feeling sentence e.g. He irritates me so I punched him, so let both of them come to you and verbally ask them what they felt at the time they abused, or punched. Then tell them to take sometime off and write down their feelings, this will help them to vent their anger. Whenever anyone gets angry, helping them to write what they feel helps to prevent an emotional out-burst.

8.  Being a good model to the child of how you control your own anger and expressing it appropriately. The lessons they need to learn about coping with anger will not be learned when the child is punished for angry expression. He does not learn anything about how he feels and how he should deal with it. He still feels bad or he may learn to stay calm to be accepted. The lessons should not be taught when the angry outburst occurs, but as a natural part of daily routines.

9.  When you feel angry, there is some negative feeling associated with it, like guilt, jealousy, embarrassment, hatred etc... so it is important to try and change the thinking style first. try to utilize the energy in thinking why you are angry in the first place, and then try and think what can be done about the situation to make it better. Hence this will help you to become calmer and think more clearly about the problem.

10.  Traditional ways of working on anger: counting till 10, exercise, writing ones feelings, talking to someone about it, going for a walk, screaming out alone loudly etc

COMMON PROBLEMS FACED BY TEACHERS

1.  Poor academic performance
2.  Cheating/ lying
3.  aggressive violent behaviors
4.  frequent absentee records
5.  regular complaints of physical problems
6.  shyness


1.
The reasons for low performance in studies are varied. It could be because of lack of knowledge on how to study, emphasize no last minute studying, because of other interference like family problems, or disturbed environment. Teachers will have to deal individually with the child , first to try and build a general rapport with the child, finding out his likes and dislikes of subjects, which he finds easiest and toughest, what he likes about school, how he studies, his or her method, all this has to be done gradually not in one sitting, because child may not be able to understand so much. The teacher should explain to child various study techniques to make their subject interesting, making colorful charts, writing down what they study instead of only reading etc. are few of the methods.

2.
The next point is very delicate, because the child is not going to own up his misbehavior, so firstly teacher must ask the child why did he do it, if the child denies, then the teacher must emphasize on how cheating and lying are bad, and if the child lies, then it becomes difficult to trust the child, being patent and not raising ones voice while handling the child is important, let the child feel that you are his or her friend, don’t jump to conclusions , let the child explain, tell them it is wrong if they cheat but worse if they lie and also cheat, so to be honest. giving egs. and talking to them in a calm but stern manner is important. don’t punish but rather explain why the child is at fault.

3.
In the same fashion it is important not to directly scold the child but explain to them what they did is wrong, also telling them that other children would not want to talk or play with them if they fight with others, or hit, kick etc. If they use abusive language ask them from where did they pick up the words, be stern and firm that they should refrain from using such language, and if they do then be firm with your punishment. Do not say that you will keep them after school and don’t follow your promise, because children will then take it easy. Ask them who hits, kicks, etc at their house, or why did they hit, kick etc the person, call the other person and give each one a sound warning, but to keep aggression under control punishment ( not harsh) is essential and should be followed.

4.
Call the parents, ask if there is a genuine medical reason, there could be problems at home or the child could be staying away from school due to various reason, make sure parents are informed if any child is absent too often. While talking to the parents you will understand whether there is a genuine problem or then the parents are very lenient with their child. Accordingly you can talk to them.

5.
To help a child be more bold, praise the child in class, ask the child to do simple tasks related to school and try and gradually build his or her confidence. Sometimes in class only few of the smart children become monitors, or are asked by the teacher to read in class etc.. but rather teachers should encourage everyone and not only a selected few. I hope this information is useful to you, if there are any specific requirements please let me know, I have many study tips that will be useful if you want me to send that to you , let me know.


COPING WITH DYSLEXIA

Is your child creative, artistic, outgoing and good at sports but weak with spellings and muddles up his left from his right? This could be a possible case of dyslexia. Dyslexia is a reading disorder that causes difficulties in the three basic areas of learning i.e. reading, writing and spelling. Phonological difficulty’s like sorting put sounds within words is a common symptom of dyslexia.

There could be several reasons for dyslexia to appear in children. Firstly it could be hereditary. Secondly, research shows that it could be a result of illnesses like common cold, throat infections during early childhood which could cause a temporary hearing loss (first 5 years) leading to glue ear or conductive hearing loss. Thirdly, dyslexia is found in the families that have a history of left-handedness. But this does not mean that a left-handed child will be dyslexic or a dyslexic parent will automatically have a dyslexic child. More scientific research has been done on the brain- the magno-cellular system. This helps us with our ability to see moving images. This system is smaller in the brains of dyslexic people. The brain has to quickly interpret the different letters and words, which our eyes see, this makes reading harder.

What makes dyslexia difficult to identify is its varied nature. Some dyslexic children could have very good short-term memory, while others seem to have low-attention span or observational capabilities. Directions like right and left could seem confusing to some while not to the others. Some may have absolutely no difficulty in maths while others struggle their way through it. Therefore a proper assessment is essential to help you identify if your child is dyslexic or not. There are various tests available that can help identify if your child is dyslexic. Screening tests are not a test for dyslexia per se, but can help narrow down the group of children who might have dyslexia. A comprehensive test is a thorough test, which tests the whole child on areas of spelling, drawing, maths etc. Here the School Psychologist can administer these tests. A remedial teacher is on who specializes in teaching learning disables children. They emphasize on multi-sensory methods, which is combining writing, sound of words etc to help the child remember the words better.

Parents need to be warned that dyslexic children are not unintelligent and it may not jeopardize their child’s future. Albert Einstein can be an excellent example of one who in spite of being dyslexic was a successful and gifted scientist.

In conclusion, parents can greatly help ease the process for their child by keeping in mind certain points

1.  Love your child for what they are and not because of how they perform at school

2.  Parents should make it clear that a child difficulty is not their fault

3.  Remember their efforts in trying to achieve success in reading, writing and maths

4.  Do not do their homework for them but check to see if it is done correctly

5.  Help them to be organized

6.  Encourage area in which the child can experience success like creative activities, sports and encourage hobbies and out of school activities.

10 points to help you make a timetable

1.  While making a timetable you must make sure that you add all the subjects equally and you are able to cover all the chapters.

2.  To start studying or getting in the mood of studying you should preferably choose a subject that you really like.

3.  Then studying two different subjects (chapters) in a day, make sure you don’t choose two theoretical based subjects or two language subjects together e.g. It would be difficult to try and study Hindi and marathi in one day or study science and history because both of these subjects have great detail. A better option would be to study history and English or Maths and geography or Hindi and Maths etc:

4.  On weekends, Rise early and plan more.

5.  Remember to motivate yourself, reward yourself if you have followed your timetable for a week.

6.  Prioritizing you subjects is important. You should concentrate on subjects that you find difficult to learn.

7.  Your timetable should be made more than two months in advance, so you can complete more than two revisions.

8.  when studying divide your time well, Study for an hour take a 15minute break and then study another chapter of another subject for another hour. E.g. In a break you can go out of the room you are studying in, drink a glass of water, or just shut your eyes and relax.

9.  Making notes, studying aloud helps in remembering your studies better.

10.  Make your timetable chart colorful and bold and place it in a place where you see it everyday so that you are motivated to study.

- Najma Godhrawala